Sins of a daughter
by Katherine2701
Summary: The story of a girl who has lost her memories but gained the chance of freedom. Will she ever remeber and will she ever feel loved again. OC/Castiel
1. Writers notes

Hi,

Right so most of you will skip this page but for those who read on, I'd like to shed some light on this story. So this page will be heavily updated over the course of the making of this giant project I seem to have caused.

Right, lets go to motive. Well, I've just recently managed to watch seasons 1-7 (eights not out yet) of Supernatural and was musing on the charecters in it. Throughout the entire series, there had been multiple female characters (Joe, Ellen, Meg, Lilith, Ruby ect, ect) but none really stayed long enought to become a main character so I invented one just for fun. Till of course, I became fixated on it so much I just had to write some back story to her and made my character 3d. From then on I was doomed. Doomed into writing my fingers off on this character till I knew her better then myself. So this entire story is a basic example of my perfectionist qualities (sorry)!

I gave her breath, so now I had to fit her in with the plot of the televison series. See I'm currently doing a philosophy and ethics course so it wasn't hard to start fleshing her out with that knowledge. I'm not crazy about religion, being an athiest but I just find it fun to see the various sides of the story. So I started to experiment, leading to the creation of this story. 'The sins of a daughter' I supose then is a study into an Atheist's view on Christian ethics. So if any Christians out there are annoyed at a few errors (I'm human too), please note I'm not of your religion and I don't really know the fine details of your belief system. So no trolling on that matter, just PM if you have an issue with something and wish for it's correction.

With that over, I'd like to just go over a few things.

1) The TV show is the writer's property not mine, I just tweaked it.

2) I'm also looking for a Beta reader so if anyone reads this story and wishes to do that just PM and I'll get back to you. You must be active though.

3) I'll post dates for updates or changes here, it will take time to make new chapters but I'll do it as quickly as possible.

4) I will be creating some new polls so if you want to be involved as a reader, have a look and vote on my home page!

That's all for now!

Adieu,

Rebecca2701.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Ever sweet torture

God, do you see me?

God, are you there?

God, do you hear me?

God, please answer my prayer?

God, please don't hate me!

God, give me strength!

God, listen to my plea!

God, if your out there why not show your mercy?

Pain, an unpleasant feeling caused by damage to the body or mind.

I feel pain. The pain of love, sorrow and is all but continous for me. I feel it everyday and everynight. I feel the white-hot kiss of a poker, or the hugging sting of a whip. I feel the reassuring handshake of the knife against my bleeding skin or the hug of a noose around my blackened neck. Constant and unbelivable amounts of pain. It tested my will and faith every moment yet I did not give in to temptation.

Others feel pain too, I can hear them. Their begs of mercy or their bitter oaths echo around my prison as if they were butterflies. Each one diffrent to the next, but somehow all the same. It always cursed someone. God, family, friends, themselves I've heard it all.

"I cry out to you during the day. I stay awake at night calling on your name, but you do not answer me. I have no one else besides you, please don't turn your back on me. Help me! I need you! You alone know my pain and loneliness and you understand it. Why have you gone quiet on me? Please hear my cry for help and forgive my sins. Please turn my situation around for good, so that I may forever serve you and praise thy's name. I wish for nothing more then help to be free to be able to do your will. I wait for you to answer me.

In your loving name.

Amen"

The prayer was a silent one. Spoken to the still, chocking wind as it fluttered around me before resting on my lips. The voice speaking was cracked and dry, yet moist and hopeful. My voice. I collapsed in the middle of my jail, daring not to go near the corners in case of prodding by the guardians of my imprisonment. I could see not of the Lord's light, but of evil's shadow. Not even the front of my face was visable to the Demon's eyes as they glared at me.

My eternal imprisonment had done nothing for my body. Covered in quickly fading injuries from my last punishment, my skin wasn't as smooth and clean as it used to be. My hair was ragged and hadn't been washed for years (Not that I was pretty before anyway). I was wild, rabid like a dog. No wonder no one ever looked at me with kindness or empathy.

"Morning, had a nice nap? I did!" a sweet little voice sang. A bird among the Vultures. How could one so innocent hold such evil? A girl, no more then 8 years old stood in front of the cage illuminated by something in her hand. The light was blinding to my otherwise shrunken eyes. I tried to focus on it, but all I could make out was a stick or something. I blinked and looked again, this time it was clearer. Straight, and very familar? A hand! This child had cut off someone's hand and set it on fire! By the look of it, a young woman's! EWWWW!

She prowled the cage, taunting me. This child wasn't at fault, but of the creature inside. Lilith, first of the fallen, was inside that child's body. I felt only pity for it, for soon Lilith would take a new body as she had always done and the child would be cast away. I could cry no tears but inside I wept at the propect of another innocent dying. She was just another play toy for Lilith, a puppet no more but I could see her pain. Her fear was almost hysterical. I wanted to calm her but I did not dare it. I am not to speak, only wait.

Lilith had chosen a virtuous young girl, not even lying had been committed as she was free. Waves of brown framed such a face, contrasting beautifully with a baby pink clip. A white layer of purality clothed her while a band of blossomed pink encircled her waist. On her feet were black shoes and white socks, as if she had been at church before Lilith had caught her. Blasphemy in the Lord's own temple, I doubted that she could care less. Already she had whored herself out to the teachings of her lord and master and rejected God's love for the devil's tasks. Where was the girl's parents? Were they dead or mearly worried sick at the propect of their child's disappearance. These thoughts stung my morales and a sudden blast of piety filled me. I wanted to scream at Lilith for corrupting an innocent child, to push her out and release the good soul I knew was inside. The desire to do this was overbearingly appealing.

But I said nothing.

The argument was for not in this place. The child could not escape Lilith, I couldn't escape Lilith and overall it was a bad idea. So I kept quiet to stop extra punishment for such a worthless need. It would do no good to go shouting at the world, but it would be good to try and survive it. I was a survivalist not a messiah, so yes I backed down. No sense in being un-realistic here in the this place. That just earns you more pain. No, better to just block out piety and deal with your own problems then try to solve the world's problems but be entangled in your life's mess. Here, heartlessness is common. It is just as it has to be. No emotion just the constant thought of the future punishment. That is the real tragedy of this place, you lose yourself in order to save yourself.

I hated the idea with a vengeance.

The mere thought of leaving that child to the mercy of Lilith repulsed me but what could I do? I was weak, trapped and alone down here. There was nothing I could do, or at least that was what I told myself. "I want to play! Will you play with me?" God grant this girl your mercy for when she is cast aside like a autumn leaf. My Lord please comfort her for she has done no wrong. Give of her your grace and escort her safely to paradise. At least in my head I can take a stand. Lilith and this place has taken my freedom and body but not my soul.

Not just yet.

Lilith entered the cage by melting the bars and sealing them back up once entering. I am a caged beast, please set me free. Lord, art thou your humble friend? Spare of thee my pain and set of thee free. Give me life my most trusted friend and take away my misery. I prayed franticly while staying apsolutly still as ever. I was in a fetual position, with my feet close to my body and my hands in a permanent prayer. I had not the strength to move nor escape. They had beaten that out of me a long while ago.

The only things that still worked were my eyes and mouth but already that was fading. Fading away like autumn into winter, by the hands of my persuctors. The delicately crafted gates to my dominon were embued with the old magic. Words etched into the wood that were long ago forgotten. Spells crafted that were no longer speakable. Often when I had the strength long ago, I would pace this space till my feet bled. But that was long ago, so very long ago.

"Let's play cutty-cutty into skinny!" I really couldn't be bothered to play along today. I began to discuss weird ideas in a one-person debate. Can vampires get aids from drinking infected blood? Do blind people dream? What came first the chicken or the egg? Why is an Orange orange? That sort of thing. Quite entertaining really, two of the debates ended up in a complete mental break down of all parpicents, one in a fight with a very sucpicous spatula and the other with the world blowing up. I nearly laughed twice but remembered that that would mean I was completely insane. Why was this funny? I was being tortured by a Demon in the middle of a pit of fire and pain, in constant agony. But it had it's advantages. By thinking, not feeling I could stand the pain better.

In this case it worked.

I had a very interesting debate.

And I hardly even noticed the gashes left on me.

The torture ended in the middle of the debate over the best wish in the world that a Djinn can't make bad. Shame since I really wanted to know how I got out of a room full of murderous stuffed toys. Yet again, Lilith was mad that I didn't crack. Some Demons going to get it in the neck today, or maybe in the arm?

The howl of a Hellhound signalled a feeding frenzy on some poor soul that has especially annoyed the Demons. I could not see it of course, with a whole mountain around me but I could hear it. Blood curdling screams and begs followed but it was a regular thing. Everyone knows it down here that everyday a new soul is chosen for being arrogant or in the way and ripped to streads. It's not like the Hellhounds have a choice in the matter, it's just what their master has ordered them to do.

I retreated into my mind again, this time thinking of happy thought to drown out what was outside. I daydreamed of flying out of here, out of my mountain prison and go to Earth. I'd meet the Lord's favourites and help them against such evil. I'd distroy Demons and protect the innocent. 'Our hero!' they would shout and I'd be free! Maybe I might settle down and have a family of my own? But no, I'm here. Here in Hell.

The mountain acting as my prison, my guards numbering proberelly in their thousands and these bars contain me. Not to mention all of the higher ups like Lilith skulking around waiting to take a shot at me. No, escaping Hell is not an option. I just have to wait it out till my prayers are answered.

No matter how long it takes.

* * *

Ok was that good? R&S if you like and check out my other stories.

Till then,

Adieu,

Rebecca2701


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Freedom, the power to act, speak and think as you want without restraint.

I had a dream that night of a great battle between good and evil. A battlefeild of rubble and distroyed trees burned to a crisp. An apocolypse of death and destruction covered a once peaceful land. The dream was of Angels and Demons fighting tooth and claw for survival. The screams of war and the whimpers of the wounded resounded across me. The sun was fighting the moon with fearless resistance. I stood on the sidelines looking in on the horrific scenes around me. Of a Demon having a arm cut off or an Angel's wings being forcibly seveared. All around me was death and destruction, with Human bodies covering the floors. It was hard not to step on them for I saw mothers shielding children, lovers holding each other and brothers hugging their sisters trying to reasure them. In a endless sleep that was death. I was crying and I didn't know why. Oh Lord in all his holiness, why do you not interfer in such hatred and violence? Why do your children have to fight without your loving guidance.

"Do you see the violence now child? Do you see the deaths of the Lord's children? Do you see them?" A voice spoke to me. It was feminine and soft but I didn't reconise it. Familar though, and gave me the sense of closeness and care. It was strange, when did I get love or care? Not for a long time. I looked around for the voice but found nothing, for no one was near me. Hairs sprang up on the back of my neck as I suddenly became aware of my surroundings as an effort to find the voice and see if there was danger.

"Yes I see it, but what's it to do with me? Are you one of the Lord's messengers or a tempter?" I looked around again for the voice but still the same result. I was deathly afraid now, have I become so weak that a Demon or Lilith has found their way into my mind to play games with my sanity. Well if they did, I'll be champion in this round.

"That is not important at the moment, just listen to me. Whatever happens, you must stop this from happening. Do what you have to but this future must not happen. But before that, listen to my instructions. When the horn blows and the clash of war sounds, run as fast as you can to the throne room and take the golden spear on the wall. It will protect you. Don't stop or hesitate for anyone, just run. I wish I could help more but past that you're on your own. Grab the spear and stand in the middle of the room. There's an indent in the floor, force the bottom of the spear into it and remeber your mother's stories of Earth. Be careful Alice and don't stop running what ever you do!" I shouted out to ask you the voice's name but nothing responded. A pulling sensation tickled my stomarch as I felt very sick and vile seeped up my throat. The scene around me faded to black as reality crept in like a viper.

Bong! Bong! Bong!

I opened my eyes in panic, and stood up to face the noise. Sleep left me abruptly as I realised the cause of the noise. The warning bells of Hell! My guards seemed to show emotion (for once) as they tried to bar the doors to hide me. Who were the invaders? But most importantly of all how did I manage to stand up? I was half gone before I went to sleep. I went to the side of the cage and tried to avoid stepping in magma. None of the guards looked, shouted or even turned to me. Long ago they would of loved the chance to beat the living breathe out of me. What was going on?

A scury of action consisting of the baricading of the large gate in front of me being blocked by gigantic wooden locks triggered by weights. A battle? Here? I couldn't believe my luck. God, thank you for this sign of forgivness for I shall not stop till I can prove myself further. May you forever be praised for this act of generosity for I shall not stop till I can pay recompense for the crimes I do commit.

I dared myself to touch the wall of the prison, knowing there was a certain possibility of being thrown back with a jolt due to the spells inbued in it. If only I could get out and get passed the guards I would be free as a bird. I took a breath, a quick prayer and tried to touch it. To my complete suprise, my hand just melted through it. Like I wasn't even there, like a ghost! I looked back to where I had slept to see if I'd left my body, no? There was no body, nothing actually but the guards pretended that I was there. Their cold, black eyes seemed to focus on the place where I slept and by my observations just accept it. Like they saw me there and there was no trouble of my escape. Oh Lord you are most kind in your actions. Thank-you!

I went back to the gate and forced myself to walk tbrough it's bars. Nothing stopped me? I was well .. free! I hastened to the wall to hide in the shadows just in case before slipping past the guards. Fortunetly I was smaller then them and more dexturous. The gate was firmly barricaded with fire, rock and hulking bodies. Plus the stench of body odor nearly knocked me out. I doupt that I smelled any worse though.

If I can get through spelled gates can I get through the grand baricade here? I wondered for a second before running forward half expecting to crash into a wall or someone. I closed my eyes in fear at the propect but then suddenly fell flat on my face. The crunching of rock sounded, there was no loose rock in the prison. There was only marble covered in fire so if I moved I would have a reconing of pain from it's sting. It wasn't like I could die, I can't. But the pain suffered by proberable incident was enough to deter me. Even if I exploded, my blown apart remains would just reform back into my body untill I was whole again. Painful since I'm alive during the process though. Ewww and Ahhhh at the same time.

I managed to get myself of the ground and onto my feet. No one noticed me running to a nearby overcropt of a cliff. I saw the terrible tortures suffered by the souls, like a man having to drink acid from a cup of sharp glass sticking out of it or a man having a particularily eye raising torture done by some very ugly hags. Evil souls in Hell were a almost certain sight. In this case, a alcholic and pimp. I caught my breathe quickly before trying to plan more of my escape.

Currently I had no weapons, no plan and hardly any energy left. Not a very good combination when your freedom hangs in the balence. No weapons near me either so if I was spotted, the escape would certainly fail. There was so many unanswered questions ringing through my head. How? When? Why? Where? What? Who? I did my best to shut out the screams and ringing in my ears. Ringing? Why is there ringing?

Bells, Church bells? God in his glorious Heaven, Angel are coming!

I looked up and saw a almighty battle ahead. Not like my dream but very close to it. Angels fought with their rightous rage against those who have turned to the darkness within. Their black and white wings tore at each other in a stunning dance of power. I watched with utter fancination till I remebered the voice's orders. Not like I trust it but it's my only hope at the moment.

A horn blew from a distance away.

The signal! I centred my mind as the voice said, though I was very reluctant, as I ran toward's a column of guards blocking my way. They didn't stop me either? That's twice now that that's happened. Maybe I'm invisible but how did they see me? Hypnosis? I wouldn't put it passed me, I've seen more bizarre powers like the power to create snot monsters or one guy who has the power to speak chicken. Strange I know but this is Hell, anything goes.

I never forgot the look of the throne room from last time. Not much had changed, with the gross carvings on the walls and the amount of lava flowing around the center island. The carvings depicted the rise and fall of Lucifer along with the history of evil. Still freaks me out even now. In the middle of the island was a throne made of Human bones and skin instead of wood and cloth. Such ugly taste in furniture, no doupt the work of Lilith. She always liked to play queen of Hell when Azazel wasn't arround. The rest of the room also contained statues and weapons like a musuem to evil. Swords, axes and bows littered the displays with little plaques saying things like 'the sword of Attila the Hun' or 'the bulliet that killed Adolf Hitler' whoever they were. Very omnious though and I was sure some of the weapons here would be toxic to anyone. I wasn't about to go touching them but where was the 'golden spear?' I franticly looked around for clues.

A sudden shout echoed across the feilds of torture from my ex-mountain prison. No doubt the guards had noticed my disaperance. My energy levels were near gone and just standing was a chore. No way I could defeat the hoards of Hell in this condition even with the Angels helping. Most likely senario would be that even they would attack. I was in such a bad state that they would think me of being one of the Demons and hurt me without a single hesitation. No, signaling to them wouldn't help for that would allow both sides the chance to attack. I was on my own!

Darting franticly though a section showing some pickled heads, (that still moved!) I entered a older section. Here would be all sorts of relics were imprisoned in secure display boxes. Most were probably from the time of Jesus but a few were from a time before that. Then I looked up high just in case. There it was! A glowing spear bolted to the wall about 100 feet of the floor.

The spear was actually quite simple in design with a sort of crystal tip and a pole of pure gold. The crystal was blue in colour like ice and very sharp at the tip while the pole was crafted so it looked like the gold twisted around itself like a braid before reaching the top and becoming so twisted it turned into ringlets. Overall, a beautiful weapon fit for any of God's most loyal creatures. I nearly gasped in delight at it's simplistic yet gorgous design but the urgency of my situation caught me. They could get passed that door soon but there was just one problem. What do I do when the instructions the voice gave me ends. What happens when the spear is placed in the floor?

I ran up to a nearby case and grabbed two daggers to use as climbing hooks. They weren't cursed thankfully and I scaled the wall with the grace of a strange monkey. By the time I reached the spear I was exhausted, too tired to even move. My arms and legs burned and sweat trickled down my brow as the effort took it's toll.

I took the spear of the wall as I heard the rumble of footsteps to the throne room steps. No way out now with the front door at siege. So I cheated the climb and just slipped down the wall with a perfect landing. I grimanced against the pain and ignored it as I ran into the center of the room.

Boom!

The gigantic door gave way to a battering ram as the Demons and various monsters ran towards me. Hellhounds pounced towards me along with Werewolfs baring their fangs at me. Vampires stood in a blood frenzy and various other evil creatures approched in a blood curdling force. I closed my eyes once to get composure before grabbing the spear in both hands and rammed it into an eye shaped hole. A mosaic of the last great angelic war, with the devil battling God's warriors covered the floor. It was unpleasant to think that this existed. How proud Lucifer must of been of his 'heroic' uprising, how utterly flawed he was to think he may win against the almighty Angels.

It felt good to ram the spear into Lucifer's black eyes.

A jolt of power shocked my very core as I stood clinging to the spear with all my might. The feeling of omni-potent power vibrated throughout my very being and I dreaded to think this was the end. Thoughts of my mother clouded my mind as I struggled to keep hold of such a powerful weapon. Her black raven hair dancing in the wind. The smell of jasmine surrounding her though she never used perfume. How she had that perfect smile that told you everything was going to be OK. Her always devout faith in the good in people and her warm looks of hospitality and care. Mama, please accept my apology for the pain I've caused you. I'm so incredibly sorry for what happened. I only hope you could understand there was nothing I could do. Oh mama, PLEASE FORGIVE ME! I begged with hot tears filling my eyes.

"STOP! Stop what you are doing right this minute!" I heard Lilith scream at me in her bone chilling voice but I ignored her. Too late witch! Rot in hell for all I care, oh wait you are!

A flash of light pulled me apart, atom by atom. I would of screamed if not for the fact that my mouth had been particles. Reality seemed to fade away as the light focused on me and stinging burn sizzled my hands or what was left of them. I was in such pain! Such agony! Oh Lord art thou in Heaven! I beg you to end my suffering. Then as I thought for the worst, the light faded and I was left in the darkness of my mind.

So alone. So cold. So scared.

BY GOD AND ALL YOUR MERCY, HELP ME!

* * *

This Chapter was slightly rushed so if you think there's some things that you'd want re-done or things I've got wrong just PM and say so. R&S if you like this or even if you want to give me creative criticism I'm always happy to listen. So what will happen to her? Will she survive? Sorry for ending on a cliffhanger but you're just have to wait.

Till then,

Adieu,

Rebecca2701.


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